Day 43

Due to the fact we thought we had been broken into I had to taake the day off work....
In the morning I received a call from an anonymous number and It was a man claiming to be the landlord. He then asked me what my problem was about him coming into my flat! I then said to him he had broken the tenancy by doing so and I want him to call and speak to my dad... he then started shouting at me and said "I’ll make this simple for you! You’re the tenant I’m the landlord I’m talking to you!! And I can come into the flat whenever I want!!!"
I told him then he can talk to my dad as I didn’t want to talk to him and that he’d broken my rights as a tenant to which he replied "you’re expecting me to fix your flat..... And your preventing access!!" he kept shouting at me and I replied your being abusive and I’m hanging up and I hung up after that.





I called my dad and told him what happened and gave the name of the person claiming to be the landlord ....Victor his name was and my dad said that’s not the owner that’s 1-2-lets director I then told him what he had said and my dad called the letting agency. We have now discovered that the owner of the letting agency 1-2-Let is also the owner of the company that own the flat Easilet as "L" or Lynne from the agency couldn’t hide it from my dad anymore.. We have been played the whole time and they were never going to fix the problem.

I called Shelter Scotland after this and managed to get an appointment to speak to someone. We have got the first bit of good news in ages! We are handing in our 1 months notice as we are legally aloud and leaving at the end of the month :) Shelter Scotland are amazing I’m so happy that we are going to leave soon :) we will lose the deposit but it’s worth it :)

Day 42

I got on the bus to work and 2 stops later a guy who nearly missed the bus sat right behind me and started talking to the guy at the back of the bus.....

"awright Jay-pee how ye dane man?! ah pure nearly missed the bus man!!"

"am awright Tam own ma wiy tae college!"

"whit ye studying noo!?"

"um ganny be a chef whut aboot you?"

"um still no workin man....bit ma flat in aw thats piyed fur be the bru cos eh ma sare leg"

"How did ye run fur the bus then!?"

"A diddny ah walked!"

"Oh aye so ye did mate"

At this point after listening to their horrible voices full blast at 740 in the morning I turned the iPod up as loud as it would go!!



After work I was going to see my mum and dad back in civilisation but due to fantastic public transport it took me nearly 2 hours to get home.... I eventually made it back and had dinner and a chat with my mum and dad then came back to the flat.

On my return to the flat I noticed the loft hatch had been opened and we both started to panic as someone had been in the flat and I was worried they came through the loft, I called my dad in a panic the called the letting agency’s emergency number.... I left 2 voicemails and got nothing back....I spent the night thinking I’d wake up with a junkie in my bedroom :(

Day 41

We had moved everything around and the new bedroom is now the room we spend all the time in lol..... there’s not much to say about today as we have spent the day playing arround with the lap tops and doing as little as possible ... The leak is still dripping and I've sent an email to the landlord to get it fixed lol.....

We met our mate in town but by the time we had met her it was torrential rain in Glasgow so she drove us to the west end and we entered a Pub Quiz with the nick name of Edd's Dream team.... now it was a great laugh but we where rubbish lol.... couldn’t understand the guy who was asking the questions and then we decided to use my I phone.... and we still got the questions wrong.... at the end we came last but it was a good laugh....

We got back to the flat and found yet another leak in the living room... the original leak had started up again.... it was all over the carpet again .. Difference is this time We really didn’t care.

The new bedroom seems to be on the quiet side of the building so we didn’t here as much Ned’s screeching and actually got to sleep pretty fast :)

Day 40

Saturday we went to the doors open day in Glasgow, 1st of all we went of a tour of Glasgow Green We heard a great story about the day the Dolton fountain was opened, That night it was turned into the biggest bubble bath in Scotland as 2 Ned’s had poured 2 bottles of fairy liquid into it and caused it to foam up!...Then we were told about how nelsons column had a lightening conductor fitted to it and a Ned had climbed up to the top and removed part of it.... Glasgow Scotland with style!

After this we went to the Penoptigon Theatre I have wanted to see it for years.... It was pretty impressive and it’s a shame that it doesn’t have more funding.... We then went on an educational tour after that with one of the town planners and a load of middle aged Bearsden house wives; I can safely say I go from one extreme to the other... Dole scum to snooty old people....fan-dabby-dosey :)





During the tour we walked past a stall full of Nazi's in George square ... and then everyone in the street was shouting ..."get the Nazi scum off our street" and they tipped over the stall.... GO GLASGOW its times like this you are proud to be a weegie as we don’t put up with people like that....well apart from the pope lol.....
In the evening we decided to go shopping it was around 7pm and we were standing at the bus stop when we seen two guys getting out of a taxi shouting ... f*ck you ya ..... something racist and the guy in the taxi shouted back at them then the two guys started running down the road chasing the taxi shouting "mon the!!" then they started shouting at me "whit the f*ck you looking at!" I did get a bit of a fright but then they started shouting at a child who was walking down the street whit his mother... they were calling him a "f*cking Hun!" I don’t know how they got away with that as this is a "Hun" are... then they followed the boy and woman along the street and I turned around to see a junkie pull flowers from the pots in the town square and walk across to the bus stop with them in his hand and started talking to them at this point we decided to move to the next bus stop.

We got to Tesco and spent a fortune then went to the bus stop again to see a Ned trying to dance like in step up the movie... robot dancing and they were doing there Ned laugh .... It was a great wee floor show at the bus stop... we then got home and moved the bed into the smaller bedroom and have been moving things into the old bedroom to create a new lounge...I can now safely say I really don’t care anymore weather the original living room gets wet or not ... as you will have read earlier it leaked again and I don’t care ...:)



We have Just returned home from a night out and foud that the 1st patch up is now leaking aswell....I am not putting anything under it it can ruin the carpet i really dont care :( also just hit my head on a low light fitting and smashed it.... I hate this place!!!

Day 39

My mate came over Saturday night and when I went to let her in the close we discovered someone had pished all down the bottom set of stairs it was disgusting...

We were sitting chatting and all of a sudden heard what sounded like cats fighting, We looked in the street and seen 3 girls shouting and screaming one of them had another on the ground in the middle of the road and was slapping her. There was a queue of traffic and people beeping at them to move... one of them then started shouting at the car and kicked the back of it.... all you heard was her screaming and I couldn’t make out what she was saying... eventually the guy got out of the car and lifted one of them off the road... it was hilarious as she was shouting and screaming at him.....at the end up my mate stayed over and I had to warn her that I hadn’t locked her in the spare room... as sometimes the door sticks and you need to pull it open with force lol....

Day 38

Friday I spoke to a Scottish legal advisor who advised me either withhold the rent and get evicted which we cannot do as my mum’s my guarantor or we withhold the rent until the roof is permanently fixed he also told me I’d be better to get a lawyer involved but we can't afford one :(

Day 37

Wednesday morning on the bus nothing exiting happened however but by the time I got to work I was nearly in tears and spent the day trying to concentrate but couldn’t help but worry about the flat...

 I have to say most of my new work mates have been great in putting up with my moans and me nearly crying.... I think it got to me more that day as I finally feel like I have a job I like and now I don’t have a real place to call home


:(

I actually dreaded going home on Wednesday and had to call for legal advice for the first time in my life.... I spoke to a person who specialised in English law however advised me that I have a case and that someone who deals with Scottish law would contact me.

Thursday we began to use the living room less and less and had completely removed all electric Items from it and only had dinner in that room. I also spoke to citizen’s advice who informed me to withhold the rent and also that id be better getting a Lawyer.

Day 36

Tuesday morning it was really wet and I was freezing, I got on the bus and there was a load of Junkies sitting at the front and they were talking to each other all I could here was...

"minnimmiiee imm eeeehmi neh immih nehi"

"aye"

"nimisss neeee meeee heee meee hini"

I was thinking to myself what the hell! it was bloody weird so my IPod saved the day yet again :)

Tuesday night I had went to Tesco and was buying food to make a nice meal and when I got back to the flat I met my neighbour on the stairs... She’s a nice woman who invited me into her flat and she was telling me all about the building and about how she had lived in my flat at one time and had been here for over 30 years.... I also found out that the junkies who live on the 2nd floor had been up in the lot quite allot and that she thinks they are tapping electricity from other flats... so yet another thing to worry about...

When I got to the flat I discovered the leak and the couch had been totally soaked....worst of it is I moved the couch to a place I thought it be safe the night before and look what happened...I felt like crying that night as I couldn’t cope with the hassle again ... as you all know though we are going to have to keep fighting with the landlord.

Day 35

On Monday I was at the bus stop and an old woman came up to the bus stop and said...

"you-waitin-own-di-bus-son?" in what sounded like one word... I told her there’s one due soon and she then pulled out a bottle of iron bru and said...."that-wiz-anely-a-poon so-it-wiz" I said really where did you get it? "coast-cutters its dead-cheep fur the bru so it is" at that point the bus came and I said there’s your bus and she left :)

Work went really fast on Monday and I even got home a bitt earlier than usual...

On the bus on the way back there was a woman and her 2 "waynes" and she was screaming at them "chantelle!...sit yer arse doon or yer-getting-skelpt..!".... The girl looked about 3 years old and was standing up in the chair jumping up and down....and she started giggleing.....the woman then said "um no f'ing joking Chantell! Sit-doon-noo!!" the little girl then lokoked terrified and sat down... then her baby started crying.... "Oh wid ye shut up Tiyler!"...then her phone went and she ignored the baby and then started talking to her mate on the phone....

"hya Jone hen how ur ye!.........

Aye the wee-yins ur away tae there das hoos seturdy night! I um coming oot hen...

Where ye want tae go? ......

The swavy-sav hen.... no!

Its full eh auld people whitt aboot Jumpin Jacks...aye......

hod on hod on....!"

Shouts at the baby "Tiyler shut the f*ck up...Chantell gon play way yer wee brother hen"

"Sorry Jone the Wayne’s ur dane ma heed in hen!"

At this point in shock I turned my IPod up full blast and looked out of the window....

When I got home I made dinner and then looked outside to see the old man who stands in the corner of the street every night being pinned against a wall by 2 other guys and they were shouting in his face .. "Whit the F*ck you saying...eh”.... the old guy didn’t say anything "aye stopped setting wide wi me ya auld c*nt!! Then the left him alone and walked into a close....

Day 34

On Sunday I went home to see my Auntie and Cousin who where over visiting from Spain.... was good to see allot of my family....:) Everyone of my family think we are crazy moving to this place as it’s meant to be one of the worst areas in Glasgow and I can totally see why!

Day 33

Saturday night was great fun we had the usual Karaoke singing "ah wull shurvive..wahaaaay yeee ooooh hoooo!" then at 4am on the Sunday people shouting and singing "halo halow we ur the bully boy's" for those of you from Glasgow you will know it’s not a very nice song that follows’, however at the time I couldn’t understand what they were saying until my sister’s boyfriend told me the words... The pope had visited Glasgow on Thursday and I think the poor local wildlife where getting a wee bitty exited. Following this there was drilling all night at the train station then at when I finally got to sleep at 6am ..."halo halo...we ur the bully bois!!" and a guy in the street falling over in the close on top of some dog mess.... staggering up and falling again.... was a great start to Sunday morning lol....http://www.glasgowguide.co.uk/wjmc/billyboy.shtml

Above is the type of morons that live where we live.... Hate it!!

(its been a while)

Hi people I’m sorry there been no recent post on my blog It’s been a busy couple of weeks, I have plenty of gossip for you though.

Well since last time we spoke I returned home on Tuesday to find that the roof is now leaking again and the couch was totally soaked, I then spent the night trying to dry it and then had to call our lovely landlord. We also wrote and email requesting the landlord moves us or he lets us out of the lease to which he responded that as far as he’s concerned we will remain here until august next year.. So then that sparked me seeking legal advice from my insurance citizen’s advice and shelter Scotland...We are now withholding the rent but have been advised we need to get a lawyer.

We have moved our bedroom into the smaller room and are in the process of turning our big bedroom into the lounge as we don’t want to use the living room anymore. I woke up this morning to find that the roof is leaking again for the 3rd time so I’m not a happy bunny, here we go again :(

In between all this it’s been an interesting couple of weeks with the local wild life... (The locals)

Day 29

Woke up to the sound of two guys shouting in the street "Wully....Wully....moann wur gonnae be late!.....................Wully!" ...one of them.... "aye awright awright am coming" then door's slamming and a car reving and music blaring (something sectarian) that was me awake!



 I got up dressed and went for the bus...I got the bus from outside the flat and at the next stop there was a 2 women and a guy that got on... al around about there late 50's and armed with pound land bags......


"its tae f*cking early fur this"....

One of the woman says...

"aye ah know Chezza hen...bit goat tae get tae the joab centre hen it"

Guy says......

"aye but why the hell wi go in tae the Rutherglen wan hen?"

"its fur the back tae work meetin"

"aye but why we goin so early?"

"ah want tae go tae Greegs!"

I at this point decided to turn my Iphone volume up as all you could here was swearing and I wasn’t really interested in hearing it at that time of the morning......

I got to work in plenty of time and had a relatively good day and we even finished 15 minutes early, but by the time we arrived to the bus stop we had just missed the bus and had to wait for the bus we would have got anyway .......

I got home and cleaned up a bit then we had dinner, and had the lovely sound of people whistling too each other across the street.... followed by a girl screaming her head off so loud that I thought she had been hit by a car... and guess what it was the Psychotic girl again... I’m beginning to think she is not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.... or the sharpest knife in the box.... but if I was dragged up somewhere like this id be the same I think....It then began to sound like a roller coaster ride outside.... the noise that people make when they are screaming one ..... it was shouting and screaming from boys and girls for about an hour.....










Followed by the noise of the adults having there nice conversations full blast as usual......

Woman’s voice...

"awright Ella how ye dane hen?!"

"am awrite Jessie how ur you?!"

"Aye um fine hen!! uv just been away tae the forge!"

"aww whit ye buy?"

"Ah whent tae the prad mark hen and goat a new toap fur the weekend it wis only £2"

"Its a great wee shoap so it is"

"a wull need tae go hen.... am away tae make Malkys dinner.."

"seeye later hen!!"

"Aye cheerio!!"

Is anyone able to have a conversation in this area without shouting? I highly doubt it as all the people do is shout, shout and more shout....As if to prove a point there a woman shouting "am gonna kill that bast*rd...hes f*cking deed!" and then silence... I love this place lol .....

Day 28

I awoke to here the sound of banging and wolf whistling in the street ... nothing new for this area ... I had to get up anyway as I was going to work....


It was a bad start to the day as I thought id take the bus to work and it only cost a couple of pounds ... but the jakey driver informed me that it was £3.55 one way to get to work so I ended up having to take the train as I already had a train pass and then walk for 30 minutes to get to work ... I practically ran the whole way across town in the rain and managed to get there only 5 minutes late and I was totally soaking.

Not really allowed to talk about work which kind of makes my blog a bit dull as I’m not here to here and see all the fun parts of the lovely area we now live in....However I was lucky enough a nice girl in my training group lent me money so I could take the bus back home....I was so relived I only had a 10 minute walk to get the bus at the end of my shift.....I took the bus from Blantyre to Cambuslang and decided to get a train back home from there as I thought it would be quicker.... bad thing is that it took longer to get home and I ended up getting the same train home as my partner......

After we got home and made dinner we went out to the Cinema with my sister and her partner to see Grown ups.... We sat down an the cinema was relatively quiet until we ended up with the loudest possible group of gay guys and fag hags and they sat right behind us.."O...M...G Chantelle I’m just like so like exited about like seeing like this movie! says one of the gay guys..... "Like I’m so exited too like its going to be like really funny like!" says one of the fag hags..... all in a Glasgow University Americanised Glasgow accent... Then in walks this fat gay guy wearing a read jogging suit....."like oh my go....ad my like jock strap is really like uncumfter...bale!" said the fat gay guy ...

"oh my go…ad I cant believe your wearing that still ... you should like pull it down!

"I like totally tried in like the toilet!....it like totally didn’t like work!"

"your such a like idiot Jeremy!"

"Its like totally not like funny!....I like am going to like go commando and like go to the toilet to get changed!"

"that’s like a totally good idea!"

So the fat boy leaves and comes back with what appears to be a jock stra in his hands and he puts it in the other guys face.....who then say's.

"oh my god your always shoving things in like my face!"

"You wish darling, you wish!"

All this at full volume so the whole cinema must have been able to here, most of the way through the trailers all you heard was ...."oh my like god has the like movie started" and "that like look's frigging awesome...Now I did ask my sister if she wanted to move but we decided to stay put as my sister made a good point ... it cause a scene and they would hopefully be quiet once the movie starter.... I’m telling you its showing we cannot escape loud noisy people no matter where we try to go lol...I also need to conclude I am not homophobic in the slightest as you can read from the blogs no one is safe from my ranting.. Its all just me having a laugh and no offence is meant to anyone.

When we arrived back there was a Police van parked outside the bock and looking down the street all you could see was a load of flashing lights .. mmmm wonder what happened ?? After that we made something to eat then went to bed ... It was actually quiet either that its because when where both too tired to care and we fell asleep very fast ....:)

Day 27

I was awake before the tinky people yay!! Today was the day I stopped being a house husband and became a worker ...got up at 615am totally alien time of the day for me...I think I was up before the usual noisey people as there was hardly anyone in the street... so tempted to start making noises and shouting for Michellle!! chellllle!! but i stopped myself as I was too tired lol....






1st day at the new job seems pretty good ... free tea, coffee and Iron bru! cant beat it ... as we Scott’s say.... Stoating stuff! .... I have 3 weeks training ahead of me and the shifts are actually really good! Not allot to say about the day at work as it was pretty fast and non eventful lol....I do have to apologise the blog is pretty dull the past 2 days as I haven’t spent much time in the flat.... The people of the area make this blog good, if they don’t do anything else worth while with there time lol.......

I took the train back home and sat near 2 old woman......

"how’s yer auld man dane hen?"

"he’s gettin own ma nerves... aww he dis is moan aww the time"

"ach hes it that age nooe Ina"

"aye the age hen needs pit doon..... hes a toarn faced middin so he is"

"That’s an affy thing tae say aboot yer man so it is Stella"

"Aye well the other night a made him mince and tattys, he said tae mi thit he wanted gravey...... he moaned it me that much thit a whent ben the kitchen and made a hale jug eh it ..... ah said tae him ye want yer gravy? he said aye? and ah said here’s yer bloody gravey and poured the whale jug oor his plate"

"oh no Stella ye didny did ye?...whit di he siye tae that?"

"Nothin, he jist sat there like a mug wi his face trippin him.... and said wit did ye dae that fur?, a said ye know where the kitchen is Archie, make yer ane bloody dinner in future!"

"Stella yer a mad hen!"

It was a funny story to see these two old grannies talking about revenge on her husband was great Glesga banter :)....

Its around about 830 pm and the karaoke is in full swing I’ve just listened to a cat being tortured and sounds very painful the worst torture I’ve heard so far.....

Burds flyin' high you know hoo ah feel

Shun in the sky you know hoo ah feel

Breeze driftin' oan baa you know hoo a feel

Isa a new dawn, isa new diy, its a new life fur me

yeah, its a new dawn its a new diy its a new life for me oooooooooooooooooooooh

And u'm feelin good

"Fush in the shea, you know hoo a feel

River runnin' free you know hoo a feel

Bloassum on the tree you know hoo a feel

Isa new doan, its a new diy, its a new life fur me

And u'm feelin good"

I hope we get the song "um alive" as we haven’t heard it all weekend and I’m beginning to feel like I miss it.... anyway I’m having a boring night apart from that, anything else exiting happens ill let you know :)

9pm there’s a bunch of little neds in the street hitting metal bars off buildings and shouting and screaming... I love this place!! lol

Classic song has just been murderd across the street....

"Duud you ever know that yur ma hero?

You're uveything  I wish I cud beeeee.

ah could flee higher than an eaguuuulll,

'cause you ur the wind beneath my shwings.



Dudd  ah ever tell you yur mya hero?

You're everythunn, everyhunn ah wish ah could be.

Oh, and ah, ah cuuud fleee higher than an eaguuul,

'cause you ur the wind benef ma wings,

'cause you ur the wind beneaf ma wings."

In the words of Taggart ..... "there's been a murder!!" they killed one of my faveroute songs, As I write this theres a fight braking out in the street and men shouting horns beeping good old Monday night in DSS town....take it thes people dont have to work in the morning...lucky them ....

Day 26

Woken up by the sound of banging and the window rattling very heavily..... Then a woman’s voice.....


"ur ye goin tae the shoap!" ....

"aye hen um awya tae the poond shoap!" .....

"whit ye dain there hen its sh*te!?"

at this point i looked down and it was 2 middle aged women one wairing pink leppord skin pejjamas with a pair of ugg slippers and a blanket ... The other wearing a baby blu jogging suit with badly dyed hair tied back in a scrunchie......

"I luv the pun shoap hen... ah goat wee Damian aww his school stuff fae theur... saved me a furtune!"

"whit yae daine buying the wayne cheep sh*te fur? .... a heard ye wur minted fae the dole affice?"

"aye hen but a need ma hair dyed again cos a bought some eh it fay the pun shope and look whitt happend.... a hud tae save money sum hoo hen!"

"aye it's true ... ye made a right dugs breakfast eh it!"

"av goat tae go hen ... the bus is coming... you goan tae the pub the night?"

"aye hen all see ye there"

This conversation was all said at full blast shouting ... I was relived when they finally shut up...but that was me awake.



So we got up and had something to eat then headed back to visit my family at the ranch. I was so happy to be back in civilisation away from all the shouting whistling and general scumminess

...One of the cats has had 2 kittens and they are tiny little black things... The other cat has had kittens in amongst the bails of hay and my dads been frantically looking for them ... with no luck...trying to find a kitten in a hay stack lol... not as easy as it sounds... My partner an I had a good look for them as well but no luck on finding them.... After this my mums new web page for her jewellery went live so she’s all happy .... If anyone readings interested at looking at jewellery visit my mums web sight at mycreationz.weebly.com . My mums been busy making all kinds of jewellery and has a real talent for it ... Its good to see her doing something she enjoys.

On the way home we where waiting on the train and had totally forgot it was a Sunday service... We ended up sitting around the station for 50 minutes and by the time we got back to the flat it was 1030 so we where shattered then we had to get organised for work...


After we got ready it was time for bed and all we could here was the sound of the psychotic girl from previous blog’s shouting and screaming for no reason, until finally it went quiet for a little while and then there was people shouting again and the windows started rattling heavily again so it took a while to sleep.

Oh! the weird news is there was no Karaoke!! what’s going on? that’s our Sunday night entertainment ruined lol.....

Day 25

2 am .. Singing in the street followed by shouting .... So I looked out to the street to see a group of 4 guys staggering up the street with a girl who looked like a prostitute... The where shouting "f*ck you all ya bas**rd's" and sticking two figures in the air in the direction of the houses .... there was a chair sitting in the street some one had left out to be collected by the bin men and one of the neds grabbed it and threw it at the girl .. she the started screaming like a banshee and chased him down the street... Good nights entertainment..

"Just like being at Butlins" say's Kerry

Eventually it was quiet enough for us to get to sleep until about 10 am ....

"Michelle ..... Chelle!!.......Michelle... !" mans voice waking me up.....

"whitt!!!"....

"Let us in hen"

"noa!!"

"Ah want tae see the wayne!"

"shes at ma maws hoose"

"mon hen let me in!"

"noa ah told you tae get tae f*ck Tony!"

He then starts kicking the close door and she shouts down....

"am phoning the pole...is all get you pitt back in jail ya c*nt!"

Then another guy from the block sticks his head out the window.....

"you ya f*cking wan*er....! get tae F*ck before ah come doon there and make you!"

"schorry big maan... ah jist wanted tae see ma mrs...and ma wayne thas awwe!

"if you dont get tae f*ck am gonna come doon there nd make ye...!"

"awright big man nae hard feelings am aff... as fur you ya b*tch am no finished wi you!"

So that was the wake up call.... another episode of the Michelle show...

After that we got up and had breakfast and its went quiet for a while until later when I’m sure Tony will return and there will be more noise lol.....

 

Day 24

I awoke to the sound of bins being dragged down the stairs in the close and people shouting... Nothing I could really make out as I was half asleep...I then got up and looked out of the windows the threat of rain was looming so I moved the couches and took the throws and cushions off ....

 Then called Virgin about the last tenant’s broad band....I was told that at as I’m not the account holder I wouldn’t be allowed any information and the block on my line wouldn’t be cleared until the 20th!! I was not a happy bunny so I went mental at the woman...I was utterly sick of the last tenant’s mess he left behind... Mr Crawley I know your number!! Lol.....So I called BT who told me that Talk Talk had a block on the line and I was to call them... Grudgingly I called them and got through to a call centre in India to a girl i couldn’t understand and who couldn’t understand me ... eventually they transferred me to someone in England who was actually helpful... he advised there is nothing at my address and in fact there’s only one customer in the block who only has a phone with them so Bt where talking rubbish.....So back to BT again.. I was placed on hold for 20 minutes and the girl came back to me and she had managed to remove the block on the account.... Great start to the day... I now need to call back tomorrow to order it again.... If it happens again I’m no chasing anyone lol...

So eventually I got off the phone and am sitting here with the sound of masonry drills and hammering in the street more work being done to the paving and street lights woohoo! Good news is that it’s not raining yet so let’s hope it stays sunny :)

Oh I forgot to give you all the best Ice cream combo ever as invented by me, Called the Jaketon surprise lol...

Okay here goes....



You will need.....

A packet of short bread fingers

A medium tub of honey ice-cream

A Swiss roll (optional)

A hammer (essential)

Get 8 short bread fingers and place them on a chopping board, put a clean kitchen towel over them, now the fun bit!! .....Take the hammer and beat them until they are crumbs.... (I thought about the letting agents whilst doing so for the best result”

Peel apart a medium size Swiss roll you should have it in small sections....

Get 2 large tumblers.....

Place a layer of short bread into the bottom of the glass followed by a layer of Ice cream followed by a layer of Swiss roll and repeat until the glass is full.... I guarantee it’s a good combo!!

Officially I recon that I have OCD as I cannot stop cleaning today ... one of my friends popped over and said you can smell that I’ve went cleaning crazy .. I’ve bleached all the floors ... scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom ... scrubbed the hob in the kitchen .... cleaned some of the doors and cleaned the wood work in the lounge and bedroom. I have only just decided enough is enough lol.... sitting down and decided to write more blog as I’m so so so bored... I’m so glad that I stat a new job on Monday as i have been going stir crazy and was only joking when I said id love to be a house wife lol....

Day 23

I didn’t feel too great think Im getting a cold so I managed to sleep in for the first time until 11am, I then woke up to the sound of a man shouting ... “Michelle...... chelle!” then whistling..... “she’s it the bus stope!!” to then see Michelle wearing a bright blue jogging suit hair tied back in a scrunchie so far back that you could see it stretched the skin on her fore head.. she was wearing as small back pack with a shell suit jacket and a fag hanging out of her mouth...... She went over to the bus stop where an equally well dressed girl was sitting and started waiving her hands in the girls face, I could hear shouting but couldn’t understand what had been said.... she then stormed across the street to her block....







I made my lunch and sat down at the table in the bay window and could see directly into the flat as it was just below me to see a group of junkies including Michelle rolling joints up.. I then wondered where baby Paris was ... maybe Tony has her... So that was classy eating lunch with a view of junkie’s lol.

Later on I had done all my washing and was hanging it up in the spare room to dry... I then heard music blaring outside I looked down to see a fat older Ned with car, he got out of the car left the music blaring and him and his neddy mates sat and had lunch on the benches... So selfish! One of the old men who always sits on the benches approached him and it looked like the guy didn’t care but the old man didn’t leave him alone and then eventually they left....

Later I decided to take the rubbish to the recycling centre then after that decided to go to the bank and go to Asda for the shopping on the list I had picked up from the house... Half way to Asda I discovered I had lost the list and couldn’t remember exactly what we needed.... I actually got everything we needed except the diluting juice for my partner. I returned home and had planned on cooking a nice meal to cheer my partner up... I consulted Delia smith’s web page to cook perfect rice.... Do not use her recipe for rice it doesn’t work ... Its meant to be fluffy and mine ended up crunchy. I can also tell you I did follow the recipe exactly but it just doesn’t work... I made the most amazing desert ever though all my idea... Honey ice cream with crushed short bread and Swiss roll layered on top of each other in a glass! Was a good combo even if if do say so myself lol.

My partner said he actually enjoyed the rice but I didn’t lol.... After dinner we decided to order Broad band from BT to be told that we already had internet on our phone line!! When I only just got it installed... I can tell you I was not impressed she also told me I should talk to the previous tenant how am I meant to do that?? So In not a happy person as you can imagine... I swear this flat is cursed at times nothing is ever straight forward.We also had a face book search for the previous tenant and turns out he’s from England and a music student... his profile was not private and we could read everything way back to when he first moved in..No mention of the leak or windows just loads of parties ... explaining the mess of the carpets, We where stalking him like some sort of cyber fatal attraction only without the attraction lol







Out in the street there are now a load of guys with a whistle shouting and blowing the whistle kicking a ball around the street....You will never guess what names being shouted out?? “Michelle” lol. My mate compared me to Carrey Bradshaw from sex in the city ... only instead of sex in the city its Jakes in the city lol...so true!I was even tempted to change the name of the blog but decided I’d keep it the same as more people are interested this way :)





the opposite of sex in the city, the total opposite.....Welcum tae Jakes in the sh*tty..:)

Day 22

I woke up to what sounded like someone being murdered in the street.....A girl screaming so loud that It invaded my dream and woke me up.... followed by "f**k you!!!!!!" more screaming....."Shut up!!" another girl shouts..... "nooooooaaaaaa" screaming followed at the end..... I have no idea what it was all about other than this stupid girl was screaming for the sake of it.

I got up and noticed it was going to rain..... It was time to test the roof...I took no chances and moved the couches away from the leaky holes and then had to go out to Springburn....I was worried about the flat from the moment I stepped out the door....

At the end the flat survived and it was a relief to see the sun was back out .....When I got back to the flat I made sure it was all clean and tidy as my mate was coming to visit..I have known my mate for 5 years and we have always had a laugh together form the day we first met...

We met at a night club in Glasgow called the buff club... she had been dragged allong with her mate and her boyfriend and I had been dragged along with mate and her boyfriend aswell....When we met we hit it off straight away and disappeared onto the dance floor... after this time my mate id came in with wanted to go home early and I decided to stay and have a laugh....

When the club closed my new found friend and I went down Suchihall street and went to a shop ... where we decided to wind up the shop keeper..... She told him that we where getting married in Las Vegas and that I was going to artificially Inseminate her with a turkey baster...lol

After this we went out to the street and found a busker and paid him to sing whatever songs we wanted ... at the end up there was a big crowed of people joining in... It was a great first night and we have had many since......

When she came to the flat she had a huge bag filled with presents for the flat ... It was so nice of her and we sat down and had a chat about life and the flat ... we then went to Iceland and bought a load of food and some wine and returned to the flat and attempted to cook it...
It was hilarious too much food and too small an oven ... at one point the inside glass part of the oven door fell out onto the floor and i dropped a load of mushrooms in bread crumbs into the oven it was fun lol...

My partner came home and we all had food together and I told her all about the local entertainment and all about Michelle and the blog ... after dinner we where sittin chatting and what did we here... Womans voice... “Michelle!!......Chelle!!” .... She opens her window “Whitt!?”.... “ Can we come up tae yer perty?” .... Michelle then shouts across the street “Andruuu Anndruuu!!!” man opens the window ..... “whit!!??” .... “kin these two come tae Tony’s perty later?!!” ...... “noa hen a don’t Know who these two ur!!”.... girls in the street shout up “am his cousin Chantelle ah jist want tae come up te congragulate him own coming oot the jail!”..... At this point all 3 of us are laughing our heads off as Its exactly what id been talking about earlier on ....

After the hilarity we took my mate to the bus stop and got her on the bus home.. we came back to the flat and all of a sudden heard men singing in the street.....followed by the sound of things breaking and people shouting followed by more singing and then cars horns beeping... I’m sitting here now hoping it goes quiet later on so we can sleep...

Day 21

Great wakeup call in the form of a woman shouting in the street .... "Gordan ya wee sh*t get yer arse ower here!" ..... little boy "no maw ah don’t waant tae go tae school!" ... "Get ower here now ya wee bas**rd”.... "Noa!" Then she started screaming so I looked out the window to see a heavy built dyed blonde with roots hanging out woman wearing a bright yellow jogging suit chase a little boy down the street ... It was very classy lol......








When I got up I went to the library as I had to fax something and was greeted by the cheeriest librarian I’ve ever met.... He looked like he was about to commit suicide and older man around 50.... "can I help you?" in the most monotone voice I’ve ever heard.... I explained i needed a fax ....He took the document and walked away very slowly towards the fax machine leaving me waiting ... behind the desk there were 2 women talking about "gan tae the hospitull".....
"Am gan tae the hospitull the morra hen" ... "whits the matter ur wi ye hen?" .... "am a awiye in tae get ma ingrowe to nail taken oot hen ... it whent aww green and pussy hen"
At that point the slow guy came back with my fax and I left as quickly so not to here the rest of the lovely story.....on the way out I heard the woman say "it pure stinking" that was me put of eating for a while.

I then went a walk into town through Glasgow Green.... I’ve always wondered what the fascination with Glasgow and the police barriers is... the whole park was covered in them right along the walk way's ...It’s a shame as the park is beautiful when its sunny ...

On the way back I decided to sit on a bench in the park and have some lunch.... It was at that point I seen an old man on a mobility scooter 2 Scottish flags flying at the front covering his face and causing him to nearly go off the path... the scooter looked like it was on the TV series Pimp my ride.... He had a BMW sticker on the front, 2 Scottish flags flapping in his face, a lovely fluffy seat cover and he was wearing sun glasses and a hat that said Ferrari! It was hilarious......






After I got back to the flat I had to go to the library again to print something and to my relief the women where away and so was the boring guy ... Instead was a very helpful guy who was actually happy to be there with no tales that would give you as we say in Glasgow "the dry boke" ie make you sick.

I’m sitting in the flat at the moment and have a new stalker.... I little bird keeps coming in the window and sitting on the table and looking at me it’s very strange.... I chase it away and it comes back that 3 times now lol...So looks like I have a new pet lol....

I just looked out of the window as I heard a woman shouting "am gonna kick yer heed in!.... you think a wulny a wull ya bas***d" ... followed by a man "aye right!" .... "am gonna punch f**k oot eh you!" ...." Moan then!"..., she then slapped him over the face and walked away with the a dog on a leash, leaving the guy just standing there with a look of shock on his face...She then turned arround and through the dogs lead at him and said "oh and heres yer dug back!" the dog then started following her and she shouted at the dog... "go get yer bas**rd of a da!.... go own bugger aff ya poor excuse fur a mutt!" at that point the guy piped up.... "sheila theres nae need tae take it oot on the dug!" ... "shut it ya fu**ing wan*er!" she then walked off with the guy and dog follwing her... all I could here was her screaming "f*ck aff !!" and all sorts of other stuff until the voices faded into the distance.... Who needs East enders?? lol





Ten minutes later.... Boys voice.... "Miiichelle...Chelle" followed by a whistle... "Chelle" Id love to meet this Michelle as thats the name thats always being shouted..... A man’s voice .... "Michelle!!”... I look out and out pops a fat blonde woman’s head from the window...fag in one had baby in the other..."whitt?!" she looked like she was trying to copy Michael Jackson with baby hanging out the window.... Man asks...."Is Tony oot the barell yet!!??" .... "no hes no oot till the mora!.... how?" ... "ah wiz just wondering thats aww hen!".. "tell ye he kin huv his wayne back am sick eh it so ah um ... wee Paris here wulny stope greetin and its dain ma nutt in so it is!" ... "Aye the wayne Shurley-Anne said she saw ye doon the dole affice...shes up the duff as well hen.. she anely 15 am affy proud eh how she’s honuliing it so I um hen" ......"Aye well she will get her aine hoose like a did the cooncil wull help her, Is that Ryan still aroon!?".... "noa hen the boy geed him a good kicking when the fun ooot the wee yin wiz up the duff... he’s staying wi his da in Possil noe days hen"




So already we know....



* Michelle has a baby called Paris and is living in a flat paid by the tax payer, Tony who may be her partner maybe even Paris's father is in Jail.



*Tony gets out of Jail tomorrow.



*Shirley-Anne is 15 and pregnant with Ryan’s baby and is looking for benefits.



*Ryan has been banished to Possil park.



So it’s like a soap opera.... I’m Loving how people have whole conversations at shouting volume and hang out of windows with there baby’s dangling out.... it’s a different world to what I’m used to.. I did live in on a farm before this though and I’ll tell you this much animals are nowhere near is entertaining as the people here are.

Day 20

I was woken up by people shouting in the street the usual wakeup call now.... Followed by a bus outside that could give Chitty bang bang a run for its money.... there was then allot of doors slamming and that was me awake.... eventually I fell asleep and then my phone went... it was the Joiner coming up....

So I got up and dressed the good news is that the window that was dangerous to health is now working and win tight and we are now hoping to get the rest of the windows working today and the dodgy drawers and screws in the work top fixed :)

This woman looks dangerous to health and is hanging from a window, I found this appropriate :)
In Glasgow we say "she looks like she could chow an apple through a letter box" lol


Pleased to report that all windows are now fixed!!! Kitchen work top is nice and safe and the drawers even work :) We have just spent 2 to 3 hours cleaning the windows as I don’t know if anyone’s ever cleaned sash windows but it’s not easy especially as the windows are around 70 years old and it’s been a while since they have been cleaned! The joiner showed us how to open them in the way... What you do is....



Step 1: Theres normally a bolt attached to a hinged piece of wood at the side of the window.. Unscrew it and open wooden support...



Step 2: Lift the window into position and hook onto the 2 hinged brackets at the side



Step 3: If the window has both ropes unhook the rope and then swing the window in...



Step 4: clean the window and do the reverse to close :)



Sounds easy doesn’t it? .... Well not when the windows won’t close.. The bedroom window was jammed open at one point and my partner an I where holding onto it for dear life and praying it would go back in ... after about a 5 minute struggle we managed to get it to go back ....The windows where coated with dirt and im so glad they no longer look awful :)

We then ran out of kitchen roll and had to go to the bank so decided to walk again to Rutherglen ....Weathers been great so it was a god walk... We then discovered the bank was closed and decided to walk to the Forge so walked all the way there and walked past and area of Glasgow where the new Commonwealth village is going to be ...there was a whole street of abandoned tenements it was creepy and a bit sad as they looked like they were in good condition....



We then went to Asda then B&Q then back to the flat to finish off the cleaning up...So it’s not been a very exiting day to be honest ... another day of being domestic....I have all the windows open in the living room now and am listening to the Karaoke.. It’s great to hear it better now lol...

At this point in time I can here like a wolf howling in the distance followed by a whale noise coming from kareoke




"Ah goat you hen"



"They say oor luv wulny piy the rent... we wulny fun oot untiiil wi growe ...."



"Hen ... ah got you hen"



Followed by another classic Cher song,,,,,



"Ah wiz born on a wagon own a travillin show ... Ma maw used tae dance fur the money they'd throw"



"Ma da wid dae wit ever he could"



"Preach a little gospil"



"schell a couple bottles eh doctor dood"



"Gypsies tramps and thieved ...we'd here it fay the peopl eh the toon"



"They’d caw us gypsies tramps and thieves"



"But every nigh aww the men wid come arroon and lay there money doon!"



Followed by cheering and a woman speaking over the mike .... Get yer hons aff me ya dirty bugger... then more of the song.... It was funny :)

Day 19

At around 1am whilst watching a movie I heard a woman shouting in the street.....




"Shaaarn!!......Shaaaaaarin.....ah canny walk hen" ......



other woman ....."get a fu**ing move on ya daft cow"



"Am pure steaming hen a canny walk"



At this point I had to see for myself.... safe to say I wasn’t disappointed.... I looked out at the street to see a woman in her 50's died blonde hair with fake tan ... flip flops in her hands walking in a zig zag down the street and at one point she fell over on top of the bin bags next to our local shop......



"Shaaaaarn!!.......Help!"



"Shaaaaarnin!!........ ah canny get up .....help!!"



So I looked and another woman quite a bit heavier dark hair wearing multi coloured leggings and a mini skirt staggering up the street to help her mate up off the bun bags......



"yer too heavy hen!..... ah canny lift ye!"



"bitt Shaaaaarn am burstin for the loo!"



"aw right hen moan!"



So she bends down and I got a horrible eye full up her mini skirt .... not a pretty site and the sh falls head first on top of her mate....



"oh no Shaaaarn ave pished ma sell hen"



"ya dirty bit*h!...aww oor ma new good mini skirt"



"am sorry hen ill go tae Primark the morra and get ye a new one"



Eventually the woman managed to get up and the staggered away into the distance and all you could here was....



"Debbie yer a dirty cow...."

"Am sorry hen"

Eventually the street when quiet and finally we got some sleep.... At around 8am I awoke again to people shouting at each other... I looked out and it was people having a conversation and that seems to be just the volume that you speak at around here.... That was me awake at that point but I kept trying to sleep and then there would be another person shouting and another and so on.....

We got up and made breakfast... We then went on a cleaning spree of the flat that took around an hour after that we headed out for a walk along the Clyde side and ended up in Rutherglen and went shopping at Tesco where we bought a load of random things for the flat we then walked back and discovered that it was only a 20 minute walk away so we now have a choice of 2 shops....

When we got back i spent around about an hour or 2 cleaning the hob with chemicals and tried to get burn marks that where left on from the previous tenant... It was lovely ...I think I’m turning into Fanny Cradock as I’m obsessed with cooking and cleaning these days lol.....My sister thinks Delia Smith but I think I’m scarier.

I was just looking out of the window and just seen another randomly funny sight.... An old man with a woman on the back of his mobility scooter speeding around the pedestrian zone and then dropped a sweater from the back and reversed at speed to pick it up nearly knocking down an old woman, a little girl and a Chihuahua ... was like the Glasgow version of Bonnie and Clyde ... Loving it ...I couldn’t stop laughing :)

Exciting news the kareokie is about to begin with such classics as

"am fleeing way oot wings"

"Um luvin angels insteed"

"Dont ye waant mi baby"

"Take me hame ... Take me haaaame"

"Cuntreee roads take me hame tae the place I belang"

&

Who could forget

"A wull survive"

"The hert does go oooan and oooan"

"Whitt huv a... whitt huv a done tae deserv this"

Tell you its good value free entertainment if you live in our wee street :)

Silence for a while then the sound of.... A girl shouting.....






"You Ya thick bast**d"



"meere" then screaming followed by slapping noises... looked out and there where 2 female neds pulling each other by the hair and slapping each other then the one in pink ran away with the one in yellow not far behind... it's classic Glasgow Nedett fighting :)

Its went quiet tonight.. Very strange.... where are the classy people? They must all be in bed.... If any more excitement happens ill update the blog :)