Day 19

At around 1am whilst watching a movie I heard a woman shouting in the street.....




"Shaaarn!!......Shaaaaaarin.....ah canny walk hen" ......



other woman ....."get a fu**ing move on ya daft cow"



"Am pure steaming hen a canny walk"



At this point I had to see for myself.... safe to say I wasn’t disappointed.... I looked out at the street to see a woman in her 50's died blonde hair with fake tan ... flip flops in her hands walking in a zig zag down the street and at one point she fell over on top of the bin bags next to our local shop......



"Shaaaaarn!!.......Help!"



"Shaaaaarnin!!........ ah canny get up .....help!!"



So I looked and another woman quite a bit heavier dark hair wearing multi coloured leggings and a mini skirt staggering up the street to help her mate up off the bun bags......



"yer too heavy hen!..... ah canny lift ye!"



"bitt Shaaaaarn am burstin for the loo!"



"aw right hen moan!"



So she bends down and I got a horrible eye full up her mini skirt .... not a pretty site and the sh falls head first on top of her mate....



"oh no Shaaaarn ave pished ma sell hen"



"ya dirty bit*h!...aww oor ma new good mini skirt"



"am sorry hen ill go tae Primark the morra and get ye a new one"



Eventually the woman managed to get up and the staggered away into the distance and all you could here was....



"Debbie yer a dirty cow...."

"Am sorry hen"

Eventually the street when quiet and finally we got some sleep.... At around 8am I awoke again to people shouting at each other... I looked out and it was people having a conversation and that seems to be just the volume that you speak at around here.... That was me awake at that point but I kept trying to sleep and then there would be another person shouting and another and so on.....

We got up and made breakfast... We then went on a cleaning spree of the flat that took around an hour after that we headed out for a walk along the Clyde side and ended up in Rutherglen and went shopping at Tesco where we bought a load of random things for the flat we then walked back and discovered that it was only a 20 minute walk away so we now have a choice of 2 shops....

When we got back i spent around about an hour or 2 cleaning the hob with chemicals and tried to get burn marks that where left on from the previous tenant... It was lovely ...I think I’m turning into Fanny Cradock as I’m obsessed with cooking and cleaning these days lol.....My sister thinks Delia Smith but I think I’m scarier.

I was just looking out of the window and just seen another randomly funny sight.... An old man with a woman on the back of his mobility scooter speeding around the pedestrian zone and then dropped a sweater from the back and reversed at speed to pick it up nearly knocking down an old woman, a little girl and a Chihuahua ... was like the Glasgow version of Bonnie and Clyde ... Loving it ...I couldn’t stop laughing :)

Exciting news the kareokie is about to begin with such classics as

"am fleeing way oot wings"

"Um luvin angels insteed"

"Dont ye waant mi baby"

"Take me hame ... Take me haaaame"

"Cuntreee roads take me hame tae the place I belang"

&

Who could forget

"A wull survive"

"The hert does go oooan and oooan"

"Whitt huv a... whitt huv a done tae deserv this"

Tell you its good value free entertainment if you live in our wee street :)

Silence for a while then the sound of.... A girl shouting.....






"You Ya thick bast**d"



"meere" then screaming followed by slapping noises... looked out and there where 2 female neds pulling each other by the hair and slapping each other then the one in pink ran away with the one in yellow not far behind... it's classic Glasgow Nedett fighting :)

Its went quiet tonight.. Very strange.... where are the classy people? They must all be in bed.... If any more excitement happens ill update the blog :)